never forget

I went to the doctor today for the second time this month. For some reason, being sick makes me extremely emotional. When the doctor asks what's wrong, I reply through a tear-clenched voice and have to work really hard to hold back full-fledged bawling. Last time I went, I felt really good about not even feeling this feeling of total sadness, anxiety, stupidity. Too bad keeping my cool was (once again) totally negated by the full-fledge bawling I couldn't keep in when the nurse swabbed my nose for evidence of the flu. My mom gave me tons of shit for not going earlier in the day, to which I replied "hey leave me alone I'm sick and I don't feel good and I need to feel better so I was sleeping because I feel like shit." So many steps backward.